Lately my thoughts are all over the place. I'm happy, sad, anxious....then happy again. What the heck?!?!? I have so many friends who are mommies, or are soon-to-be momnies...and truthfully????? I just don't know where I fit in anymore.
I have some pretty great friends..some that still fit me in even though I'm not a part of the "mommy club". (I often fear losing friends because they can no longer relate to me because I've never given birth to my own child). It's a realistic fear, one that those who can have children don't understand. It's just a natural thing I think, that people who have children naturally gravitate towards others who have children because, really????, they can relate. So how the heck can I ever fit in?!?!??!
I have to say that one of my BFF'S has always made me feel included since day one. She's always talked to me about her pregnancy....always asked my opinion(even though I have NO CLUE what I'm talking about) and even calls me Auntie Kristy to her unborn little girl. Now that...is a true friend...one who will be there till the end, who will never abandon me and who I know truly knows all that I have been through and is and will ALWAYS be there for me. Nough' said.
I just want to belong. I didn't CHOOSE to not have a baby....I WANT to go to "mommy groups" and do "mommy things"...but fate has chosen different things for me. I WANT to fit in and feel like I'm a part of something.....I just haven't found that little group yet. Hopefully soon I will fit in somewhere and feel like I belong.
1 comment:
You may not have given birth to a child, but your Girlie makes you a Mommy - maybe not the way your heart would have liked, but don't let that fool you...you are a Mom!
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