Becoming a new me!!!!

      I made a vow to myself about a month ago that I would stop being so negative towards myself....which was vast becoming a daily thing in my life. I'm not sure where it all came from or where it started...(o.k...truthfully???? I think it started from my past relationship with someone who expected perfection at ALL TIMES!!!).....but I just know that it needs to change, that I need to start loving myself more and to S-T-O-P feeling like I and everything else has to be perfect!!!!
      Two of the BIGGIES that I'm very hard on myself about are my inability to have children and of course, the usual for most women.....my body. The first is something that eats me up E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y!!!!!! It's very hard to feel that your body has failed you (in the biggest way possible). If I can't even make a baby, then what's the point in even being here???? ( I KNOW that you fellow bloggers that also have these issues have felt that way....it's just how it is.....) But I'm slowly starting to accept that I'm not a failure and that maybe there was really a reason I wasn't supposed to be a mommy! (though I have the BEST step-daughter in the world.....did I mention that already?!?!?! lol!!). You just have to try and accept things for what they are!! ( I would LOVE to hear from others who have also been here...it's good to know that you're not alone!!!)
      The second BIGGIE...well....I think most women suffer from this!! I know that I've packed on the pounds in that last few years..but I like to think that I had good reason...ie.- stress, scary health issues..etc.... but also that I'm married to someone who truly loves me for who I am!!!  I don't have to put on make-up everyday, or dress "to the nines" at all times!!! He loves me even when I'm donning track pants and one of his sweatshirts!!!! So yeah...I've let myself go a bit...but to me????, that's when you're truly comfortable with someone!!! However, as mentioned before...I'm going to start running....this is all for me!!! I think it will be a great stress reliever and I hope that I will start to feel a bit better about myself!!!! So I'm saying goodbye to all the harsh criticism that I have about my body (stretch marks.....c-section scar from removal of an ovary....big scar on back of leg from tendon being cut...wrinkles...muffin top....saggy boobs....and so on and so on) and I'm going to start embracing myself each and everday as life is so very short for us to be so critical of ourselves!!! I hope that you can embrace yourself as well!!! You are beautiful, smart, funny, sexy.....take pride in what you are and live each day like it's your last!!!!!                                                                                         

             Here's me when I'm at my happiest....and most natural!!!!