What it's really like...........

    I don't really want to go on and on about not being able to pro-create, but here's a few things to let you know what it really, truly feels like....

     Your heart really does break every time you see a pregnant women or a mommy holding their childs hand.

      I would give ANYTHING for a stomach full of stretchmarks, sore boobs and sleepless nights.

      I hate the fact that I will NEVER feel a baby moving around in my belly.

      There will never be a part of me left here when I leave this earth. That's kinda sad...... :(

       Who is gong to take care of me when I'm old???? (I've seen this time and time again...so sad!!)

        I will never get to pick out baby clothes for my baby. (and I love to shop for babies!!)

        What would a little person that was  a mix of me and the Hubs look like???? (I'll never know!!)

         Why am I such a failure?!?!?! Why did I have to have a broken body??????

         I will never know what it's like to see/hold MY baby for the first time.....*sniff*

    ...........................O.K....I could go on and on......but I don't want to depress all of you..I just want to be totally honest about the thoughts and feelings that I feel on a daily basis. It's really hard sometimes, and there are some really dark days...but ya know what??????? I believe that it has to be me for a reason, and I don't wish this upon anyone!!   All you Mommies out there are so special, lucky and blessed. I would give anything to have that for just one day!! Enjoy each and everyday with your lil' ones....be proud of those stretch marks and extra pounds. You are amazing!!! I wish that I could be just like you..all-the-time....but you know what?????? I'm meant for something else!!! I'm still waiting to find out what it is!!!!